


Ineffable Fictober

by 630Kame (Kame630)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angel/Demon, Book vs tv, Crossover, Fictober 2019, Freindship, M/M, Platonic Soulmates, Prompt Fic, Ritz - Freeform, Soulmates, platonic, reverse au, romantic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-09 07:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20849924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kame630/pseuds/630Kame
Summary: Using the good omens inktober prompt list to do a fic a day. Each chapter is a new prompt, in its own continuity.





	1. At the Ritz

They left their coats in the cloakroom of the Ritz, the summers day far too warm for them to comfortably keep them on, even in the well air-conditioned establishment. They were recognised by a few few of the staff, being welcomed with warm smiles and firm handshakes while they were shown to their usual table.

A friendly waitress brought a bottle of house white to their table almost the moment they took their seats. Smiling as she opened the bottle and poured two glasses.

Aziraphale went to stop her, but she wouldn't be stopped. "Excuse me. I think there's been a mistake, we haven't actually ordered any wine yet." He explained, not wanting someone to go without because it had been delivered to the wrong table by mistake.

"Oh, no sir. This is on the house. Compliments for your loyal patronage. We see many couples choose here for a date, but very few come as regularly as you do." She gave a bright smile, before heading off to another table who was gesturing for her attention, her drinks tray neatly folded against her stomach as she walked away.

"Couple? Dates? Oh dear. I'm afraid we've rather made the wrong sort of impression here haven't we." Aziraphale frowned, following the waiter with his eyes until she was out of sight. He worried his hands slightly, wondering if he should set them straight or not.

Crowley shrugged, holding up the wine before taking a long sip. "I don't know. Wines good at least."

"Crowley! It doesn't bother you that people think we're in a relationship?" Aziraphale huffed, trying to act like his cheeks were flushed because of annoyance, rather than embarrassment. He wasn't embarrassed because people thought he was  _ gay _ , that was just a given at this point. But he and Crowley weren't like that, they weren't dating, and they certainly weren't a couple. Not that Aziraphale would mine if they  _ were _ .

And there was the problem. Crowley had never made any indication that he wanted anything more than good company from Aziraphale. Friend's.  _ Best friend's  _ he'd called them, many times now. And the Angel respected that.

"Not really." The demons expression was neutral as ever, not giving away much behind those blasted sunglasses. "We come here, eat dinner. Then I drive you home. Can see why people would think it was a date. Especially after five years of coming here."

"Goodness. Has it really been five years?" Aziraphale questioned, thinking back to the first time Crowley had asked him to dine here. 

"Yep." Crowley popped the p in a very pronounced way, lips curling up in a smirk. "Five years to the  _ day _ ." Of course he hadn't forgotten the date, it was why he'd been so insistent that they'd needed to come to the Ritz  _ today, _ instead of on Friday like Aziraphale had suggested. 

"I still can't believe Armageddon was two years ago." The apocalypse was already two years behind them, and still not a peep from either side. Apparently they'd scared their respective head offices enough to leave them alone for awhile yet.

"The Ritz started out as a good bit of luck on my part. Who was it that had canceled on you again?" Aziraphale asked, being a little hazy on the details. Had it been a celebrity, or a councillor? Someone of high importance.

"Some.... politician or something, probaly. Doesn't matter, just, forget the whole thing. It lead us here anyway." Crowley tried to wave it off, but Aziraphale was having none of it, wanting to recount the fortuitous events that led to their first lunch at the Ritz.

"Oh, but Crowley. You said you'd been sent to tempt someone, they set up this dinner with you, and then canceled last minute. So you said…"

"I said, it was a shame to waste to booking, and invited you to take his place." Crowley finished, his cheeks colouring ever so slightly, so slight it was barely noticeable. But of course, Aziraphale noticed. He always bloody notices.

"Yes, and I happened to be free that day so…" The Angel trailed off, tilting his head slightly, taking in the barely visable blush, not sure why Crowley would be embarrassed about this. But then Crowley adjusted his glasses, and Aziraphale recognised the tell instantly. "You're lying."

"No I'm not." Crowey sighed, pretending to be annoyed, or disinterested, once again. Leaning back on his chair and looking around, trying to find something else to catch his interest. He was definitely covering something up.

" _ Yes,  _ you are. Please dear, I can tell when you're lying to me." Aziraphale knew that was only half true. If Crowley really wanted to keep a secret, then he was an impenetrable fortress. But when it came to personal secrets, he struggled not to give himself away, especially to Aziraphale. "I'm sorry. If you really don't want to tell me th…"

"There wasn't any politician." Crowley blurted out, clearly not making eye contact, even though it was hard to tell through the dark lenses. "Just… wanted to invite you out to dinner." His voice was quiet, trying to act nonchalant, and failing miserably.

Aziraphale just stared in stunned silence for a moment, taking in the fact that five years of fine dining had started off as a lie. But a lie to cover up something much more personal. "You could have just asked. Why in the world would you think you needed to make an excuse for a lunch date?"

This time, Crowley's expression hardened slightly, embarrassment giving way to something deeper, and Aziraphale felt like he'd hurt the other in some terrible way.

Crowley fully turned away this time, trying to hide his expression as best the could. His poker face being put to the test. "Didn't want to go too fast for you."

Aziraphale went to protest, wondering what on earth gave Crowley the idea that being invited to  _ dine _ with him would be… his thought process trailed off to a sad realisation. Crowley though that, because he'd  _ told _ him as much. Over half a century ago.

_ You go too fast for me, Crolwey _

_ Don't looks so sad. Maybe one day we could go for a picnic _

_ Dine at the Ritz _

"Oh, my dear. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Emotions had been high that day. He'd just handed the demon a thermos of something that could utterly destroy him, scared for what it would be used for. Scared he was handing over a suicide pill, but knowing that it was better than him trying to procure some himself. Mistakes could happen, he could have lost Crowey forever over a stupid human mistake during that ridiculous heist he'd been planning. "I was scared."

"Yeah, I know. All in the past now, angel." Crowley's voice was anything but dismissive, no matter how his words sounded. There was an edge to his voice, clearly painful to think about.

"It's clearly not in the past. I hurt you. And I'm still hurting you aren't I?" All these years, Crowley never said a word about it. It had taken a long time for them to go back to being normal friend's after that, a good few decades of barley bumping into each other. "We're finally on our own side, and I'm still giving you the impression that I can't handle your affection."

Crowley's expression softened, his body language more open at hearing the words 'our side' from Aziraphale's voice. He'd only said it a few times, and each time struck Crowley, reminding him that the biggest reason for Aziraphale distancing himself, wasn't an issue anymore. And yet they kept up their little dance.

"Affection?" Crowley dared to ask, his voice calm, but the slight lift of eyebrows giving away the hope in that question.

"Of course. I'm not completely oblivious Crowley. After all this time you must realise how much I care for you in return?"

"Yeah as  _ friends _ ." And until a couple of years ago, the Angel even used to try and deny they were that much to each other. But  _ affection _ ? That wasn't a word that was thrown around in their relationship, it was too personal, too intimate.

"Of course as 'friends'. Because I don't think any language has a word for what we  _ really _ are. We are  _ impossible _ . An Angel and Demon, who've been each others only constant companion for over six thousand years. I care much  _ more _ for you than simply as a friend, but I don't have words for how I feel." Aziraphale gave a short laugh. Imagine, him, whos read most literature worth reading since man learned to write, not having the right words.

"Soulmate?" Crowley supplied, his voice hesitant and not sure if his hopes were about to be crushed, or lifted up higher than the stars.

"Soul mates?" Aziraphale tested the sound of it. He'd read such things, of course. Usually in sappy romance novels, of women who claimed to have found their soulmates, that they were made for eachother. His cheeks coloured at the thought, but shook his head. It wasn't about romance, it was a deeper connection than that, but it was close enough. He nodded reaching his conclusion. "Soul mates."

"So. What does that mean... More than friends?" Crowley wasn't sure where this was going, or what it meant. This was uncharted territory, and he felt if he hadn't tread lightly, then he'd drown under the emotions threatening to over take his demonic soul.

"It means, that in the two years since I've been free to do what I like, I've been a fool not to tell you how much you mean to me." Aziraphale laughed, shaking his head again, feeling lighter than air with how giddy it felt to say it outloud, to Crowley's face instead of hiding and dancing around his feelings. Finally laying it all on the line.

Crowley couldn't help smiling back at him, the Angels joy was infectious. There were three words on the tip of the Demon's tongue, but he wasn't able to get them past his lips, too soon, too  _ fast.  _ "You mean the world to me too, Aziraphale."

" _ Five years _ . I suppose they really were dates when you think about it." Aziraphale mused, picking up his own wine glass to sip. Watching as Crowley's smile softened, like he'd been given a gift he'd wanted for a long time. It was a look that melted the Angels heart, hoping he could make Crowley look like this more often, now they were being honest with eachother.

"So. Do we get to do couple things now?" Crowley asked, grinning behind his wine, wanting to make sure they were clear.

"I guess, we'll just see what happened naturally. But I'm looking forward to finding out." Aziraphale was looking forwards to really exploring their relationship, the emotions, and affections they could share now they were being honest with themselves, as well as each other. "To us my dear?" He offered a toast, lifting his wine glass after topping it up.

"To us." Crowley echoed, clinking their glasses, and beaming back at the Angel, feeling the warmth he hadn't let seep into his soul for thousands of years.

An Angel and a Demon dined at the Ritz, celebrating an anniversary, and the start of something new. Finally ready to realise what it meant to be on their own side.


	2. Eden

The first rain was starting to trail off, but the dark clouds ahead threatened to reopen at any time. The Angel and Demon, stood atop the wall over the entrance to the eastern gate, had turned from the desert once the sight of the first humans had faded from view, instead gazing into the beauty of Eden. It seemed to shine and glisten now, the paradise soaked by the rain, and reflecting the sun. 

Crawly had taken a seat on the edge of the wall, unfazed by the wetness soaking into his robe as he sat on the soaked surface. When Aziraphale crouched beside him, the wall dried miraculously around them before he took his seat besides the Demon, lowering his wings, and shaking off the water once the rain fully stopped.

"What do you think's going to happen to it?" Crawly asked, breaking the silence they'd had since the downpour began.

"I'm sorry, happen to what?"

"The garden. It's served its purpose, not really a point in it anymore is there?" The Demon sounded regretful at that, openly admiring the paradise in front of them, now completely empty, devoid of any intelligent life, but still a beauty to behold.

"Well. I'm sure it's not going to suddenly disappear. And, the almighty might make more humans?" Aziraphale reasoned. He didn't know what was going to happen to the garden, or earth in general, it was all so new, and God didn't exactly consult Heaven on specifics. "She'd already made Eve, after Lilith was cast out. I'm sure She can replace both her and Adam the same way."

"Lilith asked too many questions. She refused to obey blindly. So she was treated like one of the fallen. She fell from grace as an Angel would, and we welcomed her in hell." Crawly spoke calmly, a solid understanding in his voice, like he knew this for a fact. "The other two got off too lightly, their only punishment was to leave the garden. And they can make life themselves now, Eve has already made a start on that."

"Well, maybe that's true. But it is still a  _ punishment _ . They did do wrong." 

"Did they?" Crawly didn't sound too convinced of that.

Aziraphale pursed his lips, not sure why he was debating God's will, and will a Demon of all people. But, this Demon didn't seem to have any malicious intent, he seemed as confused as he was, and the Angel found he didn't exactly mind the company.

"You said earlier you thought you did the  _ right _ thing. Making them eat the apple. What did you mean by that?"

"Didn't  _ make _ them. I gave Eve the idea and she  _ chose _ to listen to me." Crawly muttered, half to himself. "But isn't it obvious? The temptation right there, in the middle of the garden"

"So you've already said."

"Yeah but come on. The lord made an entire world, and chose to only give the humans a small walled off part of it? It's all about the  _ humans _ , not Eden." He nodded his head to indicate the garden in front of him.

Aziraphale frowned, the Demon worded it as if this was all meant to happen. He looked upwards, uncertain if these thoughts alone were considered blasphemous. "Well, I suppose, maybe... We can't know the almighty's plans for humanity."

Crawly snorted. "Has heaven already forgotten why the first Angel fell?"

The Angel blinked, taken aback by the sudden change of topic. This conversation was not going the way he'd thought it would. "Lucifer fell for defying God."

"Because God said that we should all love Human more than Her." Crawly pointed out, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Everything. All this, the rebellion, the fall. Even casting them out instead of smiting them for doing wrong. Everything has been about humans. So satan says 'make some trouble for them', and here we are."

Aziraphale opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't find the words to argue with it. Because the Demon had a point, they needed to love humans unconditionally, more than even the lord Herself. And, had that really changed now that they'd been cast from the garden? They'd been cast from a physical place, not form the grace of God.

"And now they've got the whole blessed world to roam around in, with fire and knowledge to help them survive." Crawly continued, seemingly nervous to be voicing this outloud, but unable to stop. "And  _ we _ did that. You and me. Gave them the tools to survive in the world without the lord holding their hand and guiding them through it."

"So. What your saying, is that we might have  _ both _ done the right thing?" The Angel frowned, not sure himself. He still felt guilty for giving away his sword, he wouldn't be able to get a replacement, not without telling heaven that he might have done a bad thing. He was already in trouble for letting the humans be tempted.

"If I've done the right thing. Then I'll be in big trouble." Crawly sighed, turning to look upwards to the stars that had started to appear now night was drawing in. "Who knows what the Almighty planned. We could just be acting out the ineffable plan for all we know."

"You mean the divine plan?"

"No. The  _ ineffable _ plan. The one that we can't possibly know, because  _ She. _ " He indicated upwards. "Likes to play games."

"God does  _ not _ play games." Aziraphale sounded scandalised at the suggestion, but the other Demon just tilted his head to one side, then the other, making malignant little noise like he was weighing up the evidence for and against.

They fell into a comfortable silence again, just taking in the sight of the Garden at night, still dripping from the rain and casting beautiful shadows in the moonlight.

"Suppose you'll be sticking around. Make sure they do good deeds?" The Demon asked after a while, pulling his legs closer to his chest as if for warmth.

"I suppose someone will. I don't think anyone in heaven planned for this. But, I think I'd like to be the one to stay on earth, watch over them." Aziraphale agreed. Maybe he could make up for his failed protection of the apple tree, by helping humanity be good.

"Think I'll stick around. Cause some trouble, explore around a bit." Crawly commented, as if this was a normal everyday conversation. "Much better view then we get downstairs. Air's cleaner for a start."

"I don't think you should be telling  _ me _ you plan to cause trouble." Aziraphale pointed out, finding it amusing how easy it was to forget that this was a creature of evil, he was nothing like he'd been lead to believe from a creature of hell. But he did feel something for the creature, hearing how he didn't seem to want to return from whence he came.

"Why not? If I'm causing trouble up here, then it stands to reason that you should stick around to stop me." Crawly smirked, winking at the Angel.

"You wicked thing!" Aziraphale gasped, standing up quickly. This wasn't right. They shouldn't be having this conversation, he shouldn't be comfortable enough for them to make jokes like this. Suddenly realising how bad this could be, if he would be caught, conversing with a Demon, hinting that they would cause trouble just so the Angle could stay on earth. It was wicked, and, and bad! "Begone foul tempter." He snapped, his voice harsher that it had been through the whole time they'd been talking.

Crawly frowned, getting to his feet slowly to regard the Angel. "What's that all about."

" _ You _ are a  _ Demon _ . And  _ I _ am an  _ Angel _ . We shouldn't be having this conversation." Aziraphale took a step back, but his face was more conflicted than wrathful. By all means, an Angel should smite a Demon, but he didn't have a sword, or the will to destroy a being that had only tried to talk to him, and reassure him that he hadn't done 'the wrong thing'. "You should leave, before you're found out."

"Right then." The Demon huffed out, seeming to be very put out by the sudden dismissal. He waited for a few moments, to see if the Angel would change his mind, or say something else, but when nothing came he nodded. "Guess I'll see you around then."

Without another word, Aziraphale watched the Demonic being known as Crawly shift into the form of a huge black snake, slithering away over the wall and away from the garden.

The Angel watched him, heading off in the same direction of the humans, and sighed to himself. That was very rude of him, and he hoped he didn't hurt the other's feelings. But they couldn't carry on like that, talking as if they were  _ friends _ . They were on opposite sides, they should be fighting. If they both stayed on earth, his sole purpose would be in thawing Crawly wiles. They had to maintain some distance, surely.

The principality sighed to himself, feeling the first few drops of rain starting to fall again. He brought his wings up to shelter himself this time, sitting back on the wall and watching over the Garden, waiting to be told he's relieved of his duties now the garden was empty, and he was alone.


	3. Crossover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No beta, and an overactive autocorrect, hopefully it's not too unreadable, but if there's some weirdness then that's why, will edit later on. 
> 
> This was meant to be a Book/TV crossover, but I took so many liberties with the book characterization I'm not sure that's accurate anymore
> 
> Also late since its 8am on day 4. But I got carried away with this one, might come back to it at some point.

The old bookshop had never felt so crowded. Aziraphale fidgeted nervously, watching the two uninvited, but far too familiar for comfort, guests looking around.

"Right, so, let me get this straight.  _ You _ are supposed to be  _ us _ ?" Crowley sighed, topping up his wine glass because he'd be damned again if he was going to deal with this without alcohol.

"It would appear so." The other Angel commented, as if he wasn't bothered at all by this unusual situation, running a finger along the spines of some particularly old looking books. "Parallel universe I assume, very interesting."

"Interesting's one bloody word for it, 'Zira." The other Crowley, who they'd decided to call Anthony, muttered, drinking from his own glass of wine. "Impossible. And insane is more like it."

There was slight differences in their appearance. 'Zira was wearing a sweater vest with a tartan edging over a light shirt, his hair less messy and more styled that Aziraphale's. And Anthony was dressed all in black as you'd expect any version of Crowley, including the sun glasses, that weren't as flashy as Crowley's. Black suit jacket over a black waistcoat, black trousers instead of jeans. But instead of an undershirt and silvery thin scarf, he had a grey shirt with a bright red tie.

"I assume you keep occult books in a backroom?" The other Aziraphale asked, finally turning his attention to his counterpart. "I keep mine.."

"In the, uh, room above the shop I imagine. Same as me." The other nodded, and Aziraphale showed him towards the stairs.

"Since when do you have an upstairs?" Crowley swung around to see the door he'd never paid attention to opening up.

"Came with the building." Anthony laughed. "He never bloody uses it, it's all empty up there."

"Actually, it came fully furnished." Aziraphale corrected, getting an interested look from 'Zira before the two Angels disappeared up the stairs.

'Zira popped his head back around into the shop for a moment. "Ah and Crow.. uh Anthony. Be a good boy and don't cause any trouble, there's a dear." He smirked, giving the other a wink before disappearing again.

Crowley snorted, but looked over at his double. "You gonna let him get away with that?" When he was only met with a weird look, he decided to clarify. "Let him call you good. We aren't good, we're a Demon, demons aren't good, or nice."

"As long as he doesn't say it where people can hear." Anthony shrugged, setting his glass aside. "You really care about all that Demon stuff?"

Taken by surprise, Crowley wasn't sure what to say to that. "Not really. But can't exactly change what I am, can I?"

"I don't know about you, but I try to avoid thinking about hell as much as I can. Suppose I've gone native at this point, never really felt I fit in downstairs anyway. So why hold on to the stigma?  _ Demons _ don't hang around with Angel's. Or drink wine in stuffy old book stores either, but here we are.

Crowley groaned, downing the full glass of wine in one swallow. "Look. I have to be a Demon, especially around Aziraphale. He can't even admit were friends because of what we are. So why go and confuse things by acting like that's not an issue."

Anthony laughed, shaking his head and putting his wine aside. "The Angel doth protest too much. Trust me on this. He puts on a show, but it's mostly for the lot upstairs. The Bastard cares more than he lets on."

"How are you so calm. You're stuck here, in our world, with no foreseeable way back home. And you don't seem worried at all about getting back."

Anthony smiled, looking towards the door where the two Angels had left. "Things always work out in the end. If they don't work out naturally, then 'Zira usually comes up with something."

xXxXxXx

"He's not going to like that." Aziraphale chuckled, hearing the other's parting comment to his Demon as they walked up to his little used apartment. It's sparsely decorated, a double bed, a chest of drawers and wardrobe, and a door to the side leading to a small bathroom.

"I don't know. Sometimes he  _ likes _ being called a good boy." 'Zira said, a hint of mischief in his voice, like he was talking about something private, or an inside joke. If it was, then Aziraphale had no idea what he was talking about.

"Last time I called my Crowley  _ nice _ , he pinned me to the wall. I figured calling him  _ good _ would be worse." Aziraphale admitted, unlocking a chest containing his more unsavoury books, occult, both demonic and human. Things heaven would see as treason for not burning immediately.

"Hmmm. He does like to pin me to the wall." 'Zira smiledn, looking through the forbidden texts for something that might be useful. "Likes pinning me down in general. I assume your Crowley is the same? I wonder if that's that's a snake thing."

Aziraphale blushed, because it sounded like the other Angel was implying more between him and his Demon. We're they… "You mean, uh, in a sexual way? Me and Crowley aren't, that is… are you and Anthony in a relationship then?" Suddenly he was less interested in the books, and more in the other's relationship. Maybe if it worked in  _ their _ universe, there might be some hope for an Angel and Demon to work something out after all.

"Oh, heaven no. That would hardly be appropriate. Besides, it would be dangerous if either sides found out." 'Zira explained, seeing the other Angel sigh, but still look confused. "Ah. So you and him don't have that arrangement."

"We do have ' _ the arrangement _ '. Stay out of each other's way, lend a hand when needed." Aziraphale corrected, but apparently missed the mark, since the other blond was shaking his head.

"No, not that one. The other one. Where you literally ' _ lend a hand'  _ when needed." When that didn't clear anything up, he sighed and dropped the subtlety. "I'm talking about sex."

"Yes I, uh, I got that." Aziraphale might be a little uncomfortable about the topic, but he wasn't completely naive on these matters. Though apparently this other version of himself was very laid back about this kind of thing.

"Really? Because it seems like you're apparently try not getting any from your Crowley." 'Zira smirked, hearing the scandalised tone in the other's gasp. "Honestly, you should try it, it's quite nice once you've got the specifics worked out." He commented, as casual as discussing a new type of restaurant one should try.

"Oh no. I don't think that would be appropriate." 

"And why do you think that?" 

Aziraphale frowned, his brows knitting together in thought, coming up to adjust his perfectly straight bow tie. "Well. For one, lust is a sin, is it not?"

"Not when it's mutual and exclusive. Sex is a healthy way to release all those pent up frustrations. Perhaps that's why you seem more nervous than I do." He wondered, picking up one of the books to flick through while they talked.

"Well… in any case. I can't imagine head office taking too kindly if they found out I,uh, partook in that kind of thing."

"It's no more a sin than gluttony, and we both enjoy cakes without feeling guilty about it. Head office doesn't care about the act, as long as they don't find out that it's with a Demon."

"I'm not gluttonous! I don't eat to  _ excess _ ."

"And, do you think if you were to have sex, that you would do that in excess enough to count as a sin?" 

"That's not the point. Besides. My Crowley wouldn't be interested..." Aziraphales face was red as he mumbled that argument, deciding to be productive and grab a book at random to look for any hints at portals to other worlds. 

xXxXxXx   
  


"Wait, wait! You're fucking with me right? No bloody way you and him are…" Crowley's jaw dropped, and any discomfort he had at the similar demon was gone, because this was too much. 

"Fucking? Yeah, have been for almost a century now." Anthony laughs, looking rather smug as he pours itself some more wine, slouching on the chair, but nowhere near as sprawled out as his counterpart. 

"And, how the hell did all that get started?" At some point, they'd both lost their glasses, and Crowley noticed immediately that his counterparts eyes looked distinctly more human than his own slitted pupils.

"Woke up from a century long nap and found he'd been going to a discreet gentlemen's club in my absence. One drunken night he asks me if I've I've ever have sex, because he'd been thinking about it. Next thing you know, we're in bed, doing the devil's tango."

Crowley shook his head in disbelief. "Just like that? No, 'lust is a sin' or 'you're a Demon, and I'm an Angel' nonsense?"

"Nah. Aziraphale is all talk when it comes to that kind of stuff. It's all for show, saying things he thinks an Angel should say. Once he gets past the first time, he takes to it like, whatever it is that takes to water."

"Huh. Wonder if my Aziraphale would go for that? Might have to make it sound like the arrangement."

"Exactly what we did. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. We both get a bit of fun stress relief, and nothing else really changes between us."

Crowley hesitated. "Ah. So, it's just a physical thing then? No,  _ emotions _ , or any of that sappy shit" He pulled a face, but without his glasses, the disappointment in his eyes wasn't hidden.

Anthony sighed, putting down his glass to lean forwards in his chair. "Look. We love them, and they're idiots if they don't see it. But they love us too, they just can't admit it, not while we're on opposite sides."

Crowley looked away, but didn't know what to say about that. He decided to drink more instead.   
  


xXxXxXx

"You really think there's something in here about parallel world's?" Aziraphale asked, flicking through the occultist book in his hands. His Latin was good enough, but some of these were hard to decipher, and he wasn't familiar with a lot of the terms.

"Don't see why not. Demons travel between dimensions and circles of hell all the time, don't see why the same thing couldn't apply here."

They'd been reading for awhile, and so far nothing seemed substantial enough to work in their favour. "Wouldn't Crowley be better at this sort of thing?"

"Hmm? Maybe, but I don't think he's ever done this either, or mine would have suggested it already."

There's a few more minutes of silent reading, before Aziraphale stands up quickly. "I think I've found something. A ritual of transportation. And it doesn't need a specific destination, just something that's come from where you need to go."

"Excellent! That sounds exactly the type of thing we're looking for."

Aziraphale took a deep breath, running his fingers over the pentagram on the page. We'll definitely need some demonic intervention." He confirms, heading towards the stairs to tell the Demon's what they needed to do. "Do you honestly think this will work?"

'Zira shrugged, giving a smile that was just a little too casual. "Only once way to find out."   
  


xXxXxXx

The portal swirled around them, red, black and gold. The two occult and ethereal beings stood in front of it, saying their goodbyes to their counterparts.

"Well, hopefully this will take us home, if not, hopefully we'll be somewhere better prepared for this sort of thing." 'Zira laughed, stepping forward to shake Aziraphale's hand. "Remember what I said dear boy. Nothing to be afraid about as long as you're careful."

Crowley raised a brow at the flush on Aziraphale's face, but was distracted by the other him placing a hand on his shoulder. He leaned forward to whisper something in Crowley's ear, that made hIm very glad they'd both put their glasses back on. Anthony lowered his just long enough to give the other Demon a cheeky wink, before taking his Angels hand and stepping into the portal.

The room glowed bright for a moment, and then they were gone, the ritual circle fading to a dull chalk mark which Aziraphale was quick to break with his foot.

"What did he whisper to you?" Aziraphale asked, curiosity overflowing giving what he had discussed with the other him.

"Nothing, uh, don't worry about it." Crowley didn't blush, but the tips of his ears turned the slightest shade of pink and he looked away. "Wine?"

"Yeah, I think I need a drink after that."

"Me too." Crowley agreed, settling back on the sofa, in the bookshop, with just the two of them. "So… you want to tell me what you got up to in the 1800's while I was asleep?"


	4. Reverse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I guess I have a reverse au now?

"Clever things humans."

The red headed figure startled by the sudden voice, his hand reaching for his weapon, only to remember that he no longer had it. "I'm sorry, what?" The Angel frowned, turning his attention to the being that had appeared next to him on the wall, sitting casually on the edge, with one leg dangling over.

He was a thick build, not so much muscle, as soft rolls of skin. He would look soft and friendly, if it weren't for those beady eyes dancing with so much mischief. His wings were jet black, but faded down to where the tips were a silvery off white colour. He looked up at the Angel with piercing blue eyes, smiling in a way that showed off his small fangs.

"I  _ said _ . Clever things, humans are. Didn't know they'd worked out the fire thing already." The blond figure, obviously a demon, nodded toward the sight of the two humans a little way off in the desert, the bright flame in Adams hand very visible.

"Uh, yeah. Very smart. Probably the forbidden knowledge helped with that. Your work I take it?" The Angel doubted there would be any more demons in such a paradise.

"Guilty as charged." The Demon purred, apparently very pleased with himself. Well, pride was a sin after all, and Demon seemed to thrive off of them. "You know, the more I look at the flame in Adams hands, the more it resembles a  _ sword _ ."

"Uh… A sword? Where would the humans get a sword?" Crowley half laughed, looking away a little too quickly, missing the way the Demon's lips ticked up into a smirk.

"Where indeed. And such a handsome blade too. Flaming and never going out."

"Well. You should probably be off. Before I'll have to smite you for your part in their downfall." The Angel tried to sound menacing, but the worry in his voice gave him away.

"You see, that's the thing. The Angel at the  _ western _ gate had this beautiful flaming sword. But you seem to be missing yours." There was a teasing tone, almost playful as he barely danced around the elephant on the wall.

"Just because you can't see it right now. Doesn't mean I don't have one." The Angel claimed, his golden eyes barely flicked over to the far too casual demon, still laying against the wall as if he belonged there.

"Oh, I think it does."

"Right. Just get on with it. Are you here to threaten me? Think I can't defend myself just because the humans have my sword? They clearly need all the help they can get, since  _ you _ lead them astray." Crowley was tired of these games, he just wanted the Demon to reveal his hand and leave him alone to worry about if he did the wrong thing or not by giving away his sword.

"Threaten you? My dear boy, I wouldn't dream of it. I was thinking more… a little deal." The Demon pulled himself up slowly, dusting off his dark tan and silver robes, stepping just close enough to the Angel that the other took a step back on reflex.

"Angel's don't make deals with  _ Demons. _ " The red head crossed his arms, his chin raising defiantly, the picture of 'holier than thou'.

"Hmmm. But then again, Angels don't give away their weapons either, do they. At least hear my offer, you can always refuse if you don't like my terms." His voice was velvet, sweet and  _ tempting _ . When Crowley didn't argue, and just raised an eyebrow, the Demon continued. 

"As I was saying. It would be a shame if anyone found out about your sword. I bet Heaven wouldn't be too happy, and I'm sure hell would be  _ thrilled _ to know that one of god's favoured is unarmed. I'd probably get a commendation for telling them, or a promotion."

Crowley's arms dropped, worrying his lip as he glanced back at the sight of the humans, almost completely out of view now. He hadn't thought of that. He was so worried about getting into trouble with Heaven, then he hadn't thought of the consequences of hell knowing he didn't have his most powerful weapon.

"So… that's the deal then? You keep your mouth shut, in return for something from me?" The Angel didn't like this, not at all. He was already in trouble, and he was bound to be making it worse. But, maybe the Demon wouldn't want anything too big from him, and it would work out. "What do you want, Demon."

"Vix. I feel we're acquainted enough for names at this point..." He paused, expecting the Angel to introduce himself, but he didn't, making the Demon sigh again. "Kiss."

"What?" Crowley's mind swirled, trying to work on what on earth this Demon, Vix, was talking about.

"That's my deal. I keep my lips sealed. And in return I get the privilege of kissing you." He spread his arms in front of him, like a dealer showing off his hand, his eyes dancing with something playful. "A simple thing really. Considering you benefit the most, but still, that's my offer."

"That's all you want? To kiss me? And in return, you never breathe a word about the sword?" This whole thing was bizarre, Crowley felt like his head was spinning, trying to work out what he was missing, this deal was too strange. A kiss in exchange for secrecy, it sounded too simple, there must be a catch, but his reeling mind couldn't work out what.

"That's all I want. Not really a downside to it for you is there? But I'm in a good mood today, and you seem pretty interesting for an Angel. So. Do we have a deal?" He held out an open hand, well manicured nails sharpened to slight points, ready to seal the deal with a shake. "Oh. And I'd like you to promise that the deal stands. Just a bit of insurance, you understand."

Crowley hesitated. An Angel's promise wasn't soul binding, but they were very rarely broken, only in exceptional circumstances. "And that's all?"

"Just, the allowance of being able to press my lips against you." Vix grinned, looking between the Angel and his outstretched hand.

Crowley hesitated again, biting the side of his lip, but taking again deep breath for courage. "I promise to uphold the deal." He shook the other's hand and felt a little foolish, awkward now that it was done. "So, uh. You just kiss me, and then be on your way?"

"Maybe. Or I might stick around." This time, when he stepped closer, the Angel didn't step away, letting the Demon stand right in front of him, almost touching, before he leaned upwards for his kiss.

It was chaste, which surprised the red head, it only lasted a few moments before it broke and he blinked in surprise, that was all the Demon wanted?

But apparently that wasn't the case. Vix brought a hand up to wrap around the back of the Angels neck, to pull him down into a deeper, less innocent kiss.

Crowley broke apart with wide eyes. "You said a kiss."

"No, I said the privilege of kissing you. The devil is in the detail, my dear. And I never said how many. Or even where." He demonstrated this point, by moving the kisses down the exposed neck, pushing the red curl aside. After a few moments longer, he stepped back, taking in the shocked look on the Angels face as he realised the trick. He'd just given the Demon a free pass to kiss him anytime he wanted.

"I.. but. You.." Crowley's eyes were wide, wanting to argue, and recalling the exact wording they used in the deal, realising that the demon wasn't lying. "You tricked me."

"I  _ am _ a Demon, my dear, it's rather part of the design." Vix grinned, but stepped back further. "Now. You taste absolutely  _ divine _ , dear boy. But I should be going. I look forward to meeting you in the future, angel. Now I've got a taste, I think I'll be coming back for more soon enough." He licked his lips, revealing those sharp fangs once more.

Crowley could only stare as the man shaped being before him changed, morphing into a light tan and white fox, those same bright beady blue eyes looking up at him. He couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw the beast wink it him, before running playfully across the wall and jumping off, trotting casually off towards where the humans had disappeared.


	5. Alpha Centauri

They came back to Crowley's flat after the incident at the airbase. Armageddon averted, their alliance found out, and a punishment surely on the horizon. It was a lot to take in, but for the moment they were taking a little time, to try not to worry too hard. The world didn't end, that should be a small victory not to sneeze at.

When the two of them passed Crowley's office, Aziraphale was struck by the sheer amount of scattered paper, and curiously detoured inside.

The pages of the astrology book Crowley had used to decide where to run off to were scattered everywhere. They'd been stuck to the ceiling since he'd stopped them floating around, but had fallen at some point in his absence.

Aziraphale curiously picked up a page that had landed on the desk, smiling when he saw the illustration of Alpha Centauri. "It really does look nice, doesn't it."

"The picture pales in comparison to the real thing." Crowley smiles, clicking his fingers, which made all the pages except the one in Aziraphale's hands fly back into the air, hanging around them like a gallery, displaying all the images and texts. "Always did like the stars. That was one of my favorites."

Aziraphale frowned, lowering the page to look at Crowley. "Oh? I thought you said you didn't go?" He took a seat in the chair, making himself comfortable while skimming over the information about Alpha Centauri.

"Didn't. But it's not something you forget, couldn't have changed  _ that _ much." Crowley shrugged, taking a seat on his desk, since Aziraphale had settled into the throne of a chair he usually sat at.

"Oh! I didn't think Demon ever made their way to the stars." He'd never really thought much about space, them both being bound to earth for so long, and heaven and hell before that.

"They haven't." Crowley hesitated, before nodding towards the sheet talking about Alpha Centauri. "That's one of mine. I helped build it."

It took a moment for Aziraphale to click what Crowley meant. Demons didn't work on the stars, most of them were created before the first fall, when the earth was a distant plan for the future. "I see… I didn't realise you were based in the stars."

Crowley sighed, looking at the floating images all around him, some he helped with, others he didn't get to see completed before his fall. "I never did fit in with heaven. As soon as I got the chance to leave, I took it. Set off for the emptiness of space to start filling it with stars, and beautiful nebulae. It's when I got back all the trouble started."

"And that's why you chose to run away to Alpha Centauri." Aziraphale felt that little mystery click into place, filling out a little more of the puzzle that was Crowley. "You escaped heaven by running to the stars, escaped hell to stay on earth. And then wanted to run back to the stars when all this was gone."

"It's the only thing I missed after the fall." He admitted with an awkward smile, clearly not completely comfortable talking but falling, but seeming to not mind talking about the stars he helped build. "Kind of ironic isn't it? I used to create things, and now I'm breaking things down." 

Breaking things down was something he was good at, like phone reception, or traffic lights, of Bluetooth headsets when someone was being obnoxiously loud with an earpiece in public. He did actually enjoy his work, mostly with little inconveniences, spreading massive amounts of low grade evil everywhere he went.

"No more ironic than a soldier, who gave away his sword." Aziraphale smiled, leaning forwards on his chair. It was bittersweet, how much they had changed since being on earth, adjusting and adapting to humanity. They'd been drifting from heaven and hell for millenia, their own side, humanity's side, and they hadn't really realised it.

Crowley couldn't help the little laugh at that. "Toućhe." He'd never gotten over the sheer selfless action of Aziraphale giving his weapon to the humans, just because he wanted them to be safe, even when they were being punished by God.

Aziraphale finally put down the torn page, and instead pulled out the but scrap of prophecy from his pocket. "I suppose we should make a start on this."

Crowley pulled a face, snapping his fingers again, making all the scattered pages fly back into the box still lying on his desk. He didn't like all this prophecy stuff. "Look. I'm getting us some wine. If we're going to start thinking about all that, then I need something to keep me relaxed."

Aziraphale nodded, understanding completely. They knew this was about them, and probably the fact that it said something about their final fate, since neither believed heaven or hell would let them walk away from their punishments.

"I'll be back in a moment then." Crowley quickly got up and headed to his fully stocked kitchen. He took the opportunity of being alone, to just sink against the wall and put his head in his hands. He needed to look calm and unaffected in front of Aziraphale, not only should the Angel not have to put up with his emotions, but he didn't need the other to feel bad, or worry for him.

Unbeknown to the Demon, said Angel was in a similar position, slumped forwards with his head in both hands, trying to compose himself. He needed to think, come up with a plan to save them, and not let Crowley know how scared he was. He was terrified. He would either be destroyed, or fall, and he wasn't sure that was worse. He's not sure hell would take kindly if he fell, wanting to punish him even more for helping to avert the apocalypse. But he'd endure it, if he could ensure Crowley would survive.

Tomorrow they'll probably get their answers and learn their fate. But for tonight, all they could do was worry, and try to second guess a plan they knew nothing about. Whatever happened tomorrow would be final. After tomorrow, their lives would either end, or change forever.


	6. Crepés

"What on earth..." Aziraphale was stunned, taking in the absolute mess of the room, even the Demon stood in the middle of it was a mess, covered in something white and creamy, that smelled faintly of vanilla. He'd never seen the kitchen in such a state.

"Aziraphale!" Crowley's expression is bright, happy to see the Angel but also very clearly not expecting him to be there. He glanced down at his horrifically expensive watch and frowns, realising that he'd lost track of time. "Ah, well. Give me ten minutes and I should be done."

"Done with what? You look like you've been in a food fight with children and lost." Aziraphale's voice was filled with amusement, seeing the flour, and some kind of batter? Covering most of the surfaces and the Demon himself. "I didn't expect you to be the type to cook. Well, try to cook at any rate."

"Ah, well. Got a bit out of hand. Was meant to be a surprise." He admitted, going to rub the back of his head sheepishly, but stopped because he realised his hands were sticky. "So, uh, if you wait in the main room, I'll be out once this is done."

Aziraphale, a little bewildered by the sight, decides to just stop asking questions and see what in heaven's name Crowley was trying to make, and how he'd managed to get in such a state.

There was the telling sound of something metal, a frying pan perhaps? Oil spitting, and more than a few choice swear words, but eventually Crowley came out with a plate of... something.

"Right so. Probably going to be a load of crap, but here." He put the plate in front of Aziraphale, and clicked his fingers to materialise a large selection of different toppings: syrups, bowls of chopped fruit, sugar and lemon.

It took Aziraphale a moment to recognise what the misshapen flat things were, but then his face lit up in a bright smile. "Oh, my dear. You tried to make me crepés!" Crowley had tried to surprise him, by making crepés all by himself and serving them when Aziraphale came around. He really was a sentimental old serpent, even if he wouldn't admit it.

"Yeah,  _ tried _ ." Crowley grumbled, eyeing the things that didn't look like any crepés he'd ever eaten with Aziraphale, but he knew they contained all the right ingredients. He should know, he triple checked the ingredients with several cookbooks online after all.

"I'm sure they'll taste wonderful." Aziraphale assured, looking at the pile, and not sure where to start, hover over the plate with his knife and fork for a moment, before he picked out one that was vaguely round, and didn't seem either doughy, or too burnt. He gave Crowley a smile, drowning the thing in sugar and lemon, and when he took a bite, he was pleasantly surprised. "It's not bad!"

It was hardly a glowing review, but Crowley brightened immediately. "Really?" And his smile only got wider as Aziraphale finished it, before selecting another from pile.

It wasn't much, but Crowey decided to count this as a success. And he didn't do things by halves. Now he knew he  _ could _ do this, he would work on it, and perfect his craft.  _ He _ might not eat much, but his Angel did. And he'd just learnt a new way to spoil his Angel.


	7. Mesopotamia

Aziraphale stood under the lip of the cabin, trying to focus on the wood under his feet, and not the water still rising around him. He didn't like this, but the lord had spoken, and he couldn't go against Her word, even if he did think this was a bit of an overreaction.

He was here to assure Noah and his family that they had done the right thing, that they were acting in the Lord's name, and that She was pleased with them. They were all asleep now, and he was wandering the ark alone. It had been afloat for three days now, and the rain was falling harder with each day that passed.

He took his time, passing through the layers of the underbelly, distracting himself from his thoughts on the whole matter. His thoughts kept leading him to Crawly, the look of disgust and shock on his face when he learnt what was going to happen.

The Demon had stormed off, saying he'd have no part of this, and wouldn't just stand by and watch. Aziraphale wished he could have done the same, the whole thing made him uncomfortable, especially the children. The humans had sinned, and God had chosen to punish them. But the children were too young to have any mark on their souls, they were innocent.

Some of the animals on the ark were already pregnant, or nursing a clutch of eggs. Life would carry on after this was over, but that didn't make it easier for now.

He didn't notice at first, distracted by his thoughts, but then he was suddenly aware that the air felt different. There was an air of something inhuman, like a lingering miracle or ward. And it wasn't a heavenly power, it was dark, demonic.  _ Crawly. _

Following the wards, identifying it now as one to keep people from noticing or coming to a certain place, he found himself in the bottom most level of the ship, where the storage equipment was kept.

He paused behind a crate, hearing hushed sounds of talking, before he heard the familiar sound of a certain Demon hissing in pain. He took a deep breath, preparing to fight, or protect Crawly. He quickly stepped from behind the crate into the main section of the room, and froze at the sight before him.

Crawly was sat upright, mumbling something under his breath, completely surrounded by children. Most were asleep, but a couple were playing with his long red hair, the hiss apparently caused by a little girl, who'd pulled his hair too tight in the braid she was working on.

"Crawly?"

"Aziraphale?" Crawly jumps, causing the child to pull his hair again by accident. "It's not what it looks like" The little girl stopped what she was doing to stare with wide eyes when she saw the Angel, huddling close to Crawly as if for protection. Ironic, a child sheltering from an Angel behind a Demon.

"Really? Because it looks to me like you smuggled a bunch of children into a very big boat to protect them from the flood." Aziraphale said, not seeing how this could be any clearer if it had been spelled out in ink on parchment.

"Well. Okay, maybe it  _ is _ what it looks like." Crawly admitted sheepishly. "But come on, what was I supposed to do? Let innocent children drown because god's a bit  _ 'techy' _ ?" The outrage from earlier was still there, not so cleverly wrapped in an air of casualness. 

"It's all part of the…"

"I don't care about the bloody 'devine plan', or how ineffable the Lord's ways are." Crawly cuts him off as he stands, his voice hushed but firm, not wanting to wake the children still asleep around him. At the sound of stiffening behind him, he knelt down and gave the little girl a hug. "No, no, hush, it's fine darling. This man isn't going to hurt you. We're… friends." He cast a look over at Aziraphale when he says the word, not sure how the other will react.

Aziraphale looks like he wants to object, but he softened at the sight. A Demon, comforting a small child who must have lost everything, he her home, her family. He steps forward, careful of the children strewn about. "It's fine. I'm sorry if I frightened you sweetheart. Here." He puts his hand behind his back, and miracles a crude stuffed doll he'd seen in the marketplace. Her eyes lit up and she excitedly takes the offered toy, mumbling out a quiet 'thank you' before taking it to show the other girl who had also been playing with Crawly's hair.

Now that the children were distracted, Crawly makes his way over, pulling Aziraphale aside so they can talk in relative privacy.

"Crawly. They aren't meant to be here. They're going to be found out eventually." Aziraphale speaks softly, trying to be reasonable. The Angel in him says that Crawly has interfered with the word of God, but he also is relieved to see that the children are safe.

"Yeah, probably. But do you really think that Noah and his family are going to see a scared, and tired group of children, and throw them over the side of the ship to drown?" Crawly countered. He'd spoken to Noah before, and the man seemed reasonable enough, plus the man had kids of his own, surely he would understand.

"Perhaps not. But Crawly. Are you really going to stay with them the entire time, to keep them safe?"

"That's the plan." Crawly admitted, reaching up to feel the messy loose tangle of hair that was trying hard to look like a braid. "Maybe Cindy will be able to get the hang of this by the time the rains stopped." He joked, but runs his fingers affectionately over it instead of pulling it out.

"Maybe… maybe you don't have to do it alone?" Aziraphale was wringing his hands nervously, looking past Crawly to the two girls happily playing with the doll he'd given them.

"Won't you get in trouble?" Crawly teased, following the Angels line of sight, and smiling. It was hard to see kids happy and think of the alternative. Aziraphale wasn't heartless, like the rest of the Angels, he had too much compassion.

"Probably not as much as you'd be in. If hell found out you'd rescued, and was playing nursemaid to a group of children..." Heaven would scold him, at worse he'd be demoted again, but Hell wouldn't be so merciful.

Crawly tilts his head from side to side like he was considering that, before he smiles, softer than should be allowed for a Demon. "Thank you, Aziraphale." 

Aziraphale finds himself returning the smile without thinking. "So, who are they, and how can it help?"

It takes almost an hour for Crawly to explain who each of the children are, he knows them all by name, and most by the families they'd come from. The two girls were awake because of a nightmare, so Aziraphale settled them down with a softly spoken story, followed by a blessing to give them sweet dreams. 

The boat carries on as god had planned it. With an Angel and Demon quietly enjoying each other's company, while the next generation sleeps.


End file.
